An Online Dating Survival & Etiquette Guide

I finished it! What do you think?

Not sure where or when I’m going to wear it but I love it, it makes me feel very summery. (Sorry about the crazy hair and lack of styling just wanted to show what it looked like!)

Instead of a dating disaster I thought I would share some of the “rules” I’ve made for myself over my many years of online dating, let me know what you think?

Make your profile as honest and funny as you can, of course put up your “best” pictures (come on we all have them, a picture in which we look our most fabulous) but put up some normal pictures of yourself to. You want your date to be pleasently surprised that you do indeed look like your picture and even prehaps a little better in real life.

Never use the line “I’m equally happy dancing the night away in a club as I am at home on the sofa with a DVD and glass of red wine” or any derivative thereof! If you do you should be shot!

Don’t make your intial emails overly long and don’t make them all about you, that’s what your profile is for, read your picks profile and try and ask a few questions about it in your opening gambit. It shows you’re interested in them as well as their hot pictures!

Try and agree to a date fairly quickly, within four or five emails, it’s very easy to get carried away in your head with what you think your potential date is like when you are emailing back and forth and this often leads to disapointment!

Always make a quick “get to know you” phone call before your first date. It’s fairly easy to be witty and charming via email as you have time to plan, reread and edit your messages but if the conversation is stilted over the phone or there is something “not quite right” you can save yourself some precious shopping time by finding this out before you meet rather than in the pub over drinks!

Always arrange to meet for drinks only for a first date, if you are getting on really well you can always suggest a bite to eat but if your date is nothing like you expected and you want out of there sharpish it’s less embarressing to excuse yourself from a bar than half way through dinner! The expection to this is if your date has come up with something unusual to do that shows they are interested in you for example Sci-Fi Guy asked me to the Star Wars exhibit which was an amazing first date and something I loved.

Get a friend to text you “her cat is stuck in a tree” or some other disaster you need to rescue her from about half an hour after you’ve met your date. If you are having a good time you can let them in on the saftey text and have a bit of a laugh. If you are wanting to poke your own eyes out with a blunt spoon you can excuse yourself to go “rescue” your poor friend!

Be honest! There is nothing worse than turning up and meeting someone that has been “creative” with the truth, be it about their height, age, weight, job anything really. It’s lying from the outset and if they are flexible with the truth at this point who knows what they are going to be like if you actually end up dating them! Do you really want to find out? On the flip side do you really want to have to have the “I’ve got something I need to confess” conversation with a date you actually quite like? Be proud of who you are, you are fab!

Offer to go “Dutch”. A good rule of thumb is whoever did the asking usually suggests the venue for the date and unless they’ve picked somewhere particularly expensive it’s always polite to offer to pay your share.

Never put up with anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. That can be anything from a stray comment to someone putting their arm around you before they even know your last name. If they don’t take the hint you can always send yourself home sick!

Never ever ask for the next date in person, if the other person is not feeling the same they are put on the spot and will either have to tell you to your face they aren’t feeling the same or uncomfortably agree that “yeah another date would be great….” and back out later,no one needs rejection to their face from someone who is practically a stranger!

Always follow up a date with a text or email unless that person has lied to you or been unforgiveable rude, even if you are not romantically interested in seeing that person again. Some form of contact is polite either to say I’d love to see you again, thank you for the date or it would be good to keep in touch as friends. Again don’t lie to save their feelings just be honest and polite. Also don’t do the whole “I’ll text in three days time to try and keep them interested/on the edge thing” just make contact the next day, who needs game playing?!

Another be honest suggestion; think about what you are looking for and try and find out if your date is on the same wavelength as you. The website you’ve chosen to use is usually a pretty good indicator of what you are looking for but it doesn’t hurt to say if you just want a fling or are looking for something a little more serious. I’m not suggesting you propose marriage before you’ve even met your date or for that matter half an hour into your first date but talking about what you want at an early stage can save heart ache in the long run.

This is probably one of the only times it’s ok to talk about ex’s and previous online dating experience. It’s something you know you have in common (you were both on the same site after all). You’ll probably both have a few horror stories to share and you can find out why they decided on interent dating in the first place!

The most important one is to be safe! Always tell someone where you are going and who you are meeting and always meet in a public place.

As with everything rules are made to be broken (except that last one) and you can take or leave these suggestions as you see fit, I’m still single so I’m not pretending to be any kind of expert, I’ve just been on a lot of dates! Some good, some bad and some very very ugly!

Lots of Love

P.S. x

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