Firstly let me tell you about the amazing Kristy of Full Time Fabulous (The Sunglasses Hut blog competition) and Vogue Gone Rouge fame; she is lovely, a brilliant blogger, photographer, videographer and an all round good egg! I first came across Kristy’s VGR blog when she commented on one of my posts that we shared a love of Anne McCaffrey books, I headed over to check out this obviously well read persons blog and fell in love! Kristy’s posts are always well written, informative, super stylish and she is one of the loveliest people I’ve “met” in the blogging world. Kristy totally deserves to win this competition so head on over to her Full Time Fabulous blog and rate five stars #teamkristy FTW (for the win)!
Now on to my day…..
HA!! I’m in this weeks OK! magazine, remember me posting pictures of myself in the lovely white lycra outfit at the OK! Christmas Party, well the pictures made it in to the magazine…
I’m loving Dressember it’s been so much fun wearing a different dress everyday and I’m still not missing my jeans, so much so that I’ve leant them to Tatty who has taken them back to Ipswich with her! Todays effort is this little number…
Cardigan: Can’t remember
Tights: Dorothy Perkins
Socks: American Apparel
My fabulous Dad called me last night to tell me that my Nana had sent me £50 for Christmas and that I should buy all the flatmates some bubbly from Him and Mum to say thank you for all the times they’ve stayed with us this year! As we had our Christmas dinner this past Sunday and as a flat we were all putting the money in for the ingredients I suggested I use the money from Dad for that instead. Everyone thought this was lovely and Mum and Dad are now allowed to stay whenever they like!
I promptly spent my Christmas money from Nana on this…
….which was £23 (!) from Rokit , I’ve wanted a black blazer for ages and fell in love with this one when I saw it, fingers crossed it fits! I also got some clog type heels from Office which I’ve had my eye forever and the were reduced from £85 to £30, I shall post pics when they arrive.
So I wasn’t sure if I should post this dating disaster story but I’ve reread it and thought why not so I hope you are sitting comfortably because it’s a long one (well it’s more of a relationship disaster so there is more to tell!)…..
So today I thought I would tell you the tale of Fish (thats Fish short for Selfish, another Tatty applied nickname)…..Fish started emailing me on Match.com and he was charming and very witty in his emails with a great smile in his profile picture, I had a closer look only to discover that he was 5ft11″ tall which is shorter than I would usually go for. My friends however had been telling me not to be so fussy so I decided to email back and we started chatting. Chatting lead to arranging to meet up for a “coffee” on Saturday afternoon (I say “coffee” like that because I don’t drink caffiene but “coffee” is the acceptable term for an afternoon date these days).
During this time I was sofa surfing at Swedish Bo’s place because I was moving out of my old flat and the new one wasn’t quite ready for me to move into yet. Fish and I had made arrangements to meet up on the following Saturday which also happened to be Halloween. Fish had mentioned that he tickets to The Bloodlust Ball for that evening but I was determined to work as I was in London (Swedish Bo lives in Brighton).
I had a meeting with my new flatmates which went really well (they were boys and I had brought the stunning Swedish Bo with me to dazzle them with…..it worked I was approved to move in) and I headed of to meet Fish feeling very happy with the world. I turned up to London Bridge, we were going to Borough Markets for our date, and no sign of Fish so I called, he said he was running late and would be twenty minutes!! Fish finally turned up (I found out later he actually lived a ten minute walk from the tube station and had decided to leave his house when I called to say I was there…..hmmmm) and he was just as good looking as his pictures and seemed happy to see me, the height things was OK(ish) because I didn’t have my biggest heels on so we were eye to eye that day.
Off we went for our “coffee” and the conversation was flowing very easily. As I’ve said before I always make sure that potential dates know what I do for a living because I never wanted to have a “ta da surprise” moment during a first date or later on in a relationship for that matter. Fish said he was fine with it and infact had dated a glamour model before so I talked a little about what I did then moved the conversation on thinking that at least that wouldn’t be an issue.
Fish and I had a right laugh that afternoon, we got on so well, it was like we had known each other for ages. Fish had to pick up a few pieces for his costume for the ball that night and asked if I wanted to join him, I was having such a good time that I thought why not and eventually let him persuade me to go to the ball with him too so it turned into full on costume shopping for me! I was staying at a friends place in London so I hot footed it back there with my purchases to get all dolled up for the evenings festivities.
Fish had chosen to go as The Crow and as I had had about four hours notice I went as a cat (easiest costume to pull together at the last minute) I looked slightly strange on the tube but felt a lot better when I got to the venue and Fish was there waiting for me with full face paint on! The Bloodlust Ball is/was amazing, I highly recommed it for next years Halloween party if you are looking for something to do in London.
It was getting quite late and I needed to get back to Fulham when Fish piped up with “you can stay at mine! I have other friends staying and I’ll sleep on the sofa” I made him promise to drive me to Fulham the next day so I didn’t have to do the “walk of shame” in my cat outfit and off we headed. Fish was a perfect gentleman (there was no way I was kissing him with the amount of white face paint he had on!) and did indeed drive me to my friends place in Fulham and then on to work the next morning. Fish asked if he could pick me up from work when I had finished the promo and cook me dinner that evening. All in all it ended up being a pretty great first date/weekend.
During that Sunday evening Fish did say something along the lines of “why don”t you move in with me, it would save you the hassel with the new place” which shocked me and I think my reply was “you don’t have enough room for my stuff! Ha ha ha…….”. Now I have been guilty of jumping into relationships both feet first, in at the deep end with my eyes shut before and this has back fired (go figure!) so I was trying to take things a little more slowly this time (HA, right! I hear you cry after the description of our first date/weekend together!) I had been single for a whole year to the day which was a record for me and I did want a relationship but I thought moving in together off the back of one great weekend was a little extreme!
The next day I went back to Brighton and Fish was texting and calling me loads which I love (I do like a lot of attention of that kind when I’m with someone) he wanted to know when he could see me again and we arranged to meet up that Thursday. A few different things happened and we ended up seeing each other on the Tuesday instead, Fish then made the suggestion that I move into his place until my new flat was ready as I worked in London and it would make my life easier. I said “yes” and “thank you” because he was right it would make my life easier plus the sofa I was sleeping on wasn’t the most comfy thing in the world. Everything was lovely and I finally got to move in to my new place about ten days later which was amazing, Fish came over to help me put a few things together (my bed mainly, heaviest thing in the world!) and cook everyone dinner. I was generally a very happy bunny thinking I had a lovely new home and a fab new fella who was kind and considerate.
A few weeks later Fish, for some reason, decided to Google my name and saw some of the Glamour work I had done and this really upset him! Fish knew from day one what I did and I’m not ashamed of these pictures, some are really rather nice, even if I do say so myself! I do now use a different name so that potential employers (I’m currently looking for “normal” jobs) don’t stumble across these images if they do decide to Google me but that is because I am looking for work in the IT world and not the modelling world so I think this is fair enough and the name I use now is the one on my passport! However I digress……Fish was upset and decided to break up with me via a text to tell me that he emailed me whilst I was out doing promotions! Classy.
I read and replied to the email which I thought was called for and we talked for a little that way but after some of the things said in his last response I decided to draw a line under it and leave it there rather than descend to bitching and “well you said” comments.
A few days after this Fish asked if I would still attend his friends wedding with him as he had already sent them my name and name plates had been made blah blah blah. Now bare in mind I had been single for a year and up until the emails Fish had been so lovely to be with, I agreed to go to the wedding with him and not too surprisingly I guess we ended up getting back together. Fish magnanimously said that he would put my past in the past and forget about it, bless him.
We carried on seeing each other a couple of times a week and I always stayed at his place (it was a very nice place), he’d given me a set of keys so I could let myself out when I needed to which meant I didn’t have to get up at stupid o’clock with him when he left for work. I was having a great time and thought that Fish really cared about me from the way he was acting and the things he was saying.
It got to the Christmas period and Fish annouced that he was going to Cape Town for a week over the holidays but I was welcome to stay at his place with Tatty if we wished. I took him up on the offer as he had a working fire place and a much better kitchen than my new place, Tatty and I had a lovely time. Fish called on New Years Eve, he was a little drunk but said he was in love with me and couldn’t wait to see me again! Ooooooo Mmmmmmm Geeeeee as you can imagine I was over the moon.
Fish’s flight was delayed on his journey home so after I had been to his place to stock up his fridge with goodies and leave flowers to pretty up the place I headed down to Heathrow to bring him his suit so he could head straight to work and not be too late, wasn’t I a good girlfriend!?! I went to his place that evening to have dinner with him and he annouced that he was moving to Cape Town! I love Cape Town this seemed a little extreme however but I sat and listened and tried to be supportive without saying “but what about meeeeee?!”.
Fish had another trip planned to Cape Town at the end of January for the races and parties that go along with them, I wasn’t invited, I didn’t think too much of it at the time. Off went Fish and he called and texted me every day up until race day when I got a call in the morning and then nothing. I thought that maybe his phone battery had gone or he’d left it behind until I noticed on Facebook that he has defriended me!
Now Fish had done this because he though his profile was private and he hadn’t wanted me to see the pictures of him kissing another girl that he’d been tagged in, he’d wanted to tell me in person (defriending me on FB wasn’t suspicious at all….)!!! Fish’s profile however was not private so I did see these pictures, this was after I’d been to his house in the horrid snow to drop off another load of goodies so he wouldn’t come home to an empty fridge again (he’d mentioned last time that Playboy would be a more appropriate present for a fella than flowers so I had taken him a copy of that too)! Hurt is not the word but I’m a big girl so I had a bit of a cry and then chalked it up to experience.
Fish called me when he got home saying he wanted to see me that evening as he had something we needed to talk about! I told him to tell me over the phone and he spent an hour telling me about this girl he’d wanted for over a year but she’d been with someone and then he bumped into her at races and they’d had this amazing connection but had only talked! I mentioned the pictures and he tried to worm his way out by saying they’d been caught during ” a peck on the lips” …really?!?! All ten of them?
Anyways Fish wanted to stay friends “I’m a good person to be friends with, I have connections” to which I said sure but I’d want some space to get the distance I’d need to be his friend (I have no idea what I wanted to keep this man in my life!). Fish agrees but then start the text messages! Everyday he would text to see if I was ok, if I wanted to talk etc. This would have been great if he had been a friend and not the guy I was trying to get over! I ignored most of them but one day I was taken ill and ended up in A&E Fish happened to text me asking if I was ok to which I replied “not really I’m in A&E” STUPID! Should not have replied but at the time I just wanted someone to come and look after me, my Mum and Dad were in Saudi so a little far away for the job.
Fish ended up hot footing it to the hospital to look after me (nothing too serious was wrong) and insisted I come home with him so he could look after me properly! I asked “wouldn’t the new girlfriend mind?” he replied “She decided she didn’t want to be with me on Valentines Day” only a week after she’d arrived in London awwwwwww. I let him look after me and after two days of bed rest Fish starts hitting on me again! I’m ashamed to say I still had feelings for him and I was also feeling vulnerable so we kissed and things went back to how they had been before except that he was now definitely moving to Cape Town.
After a few more days of this I kind of came to my senses and just said enough is enough. Again he wanted to stay friends and again I said maybe, after some time and AGAIN he ignored this and texted, emailed and asked for favours for his friends! I ended up sending him a very angry email asking “what part of leave me alone and give me some space is difficult for you to understand?!?!?” his reply was along the lines of “wish granted! You will never hear from me again. Have a nice life”!!
Fish stuck to this and I haven’t ever heard from him since but I did find out some stuff……he asked most of the girls he dates to move in with him within a very short space of time, he’s obssessed with the way his girlfriends look (he had suggested to me that I loose a few pounds “then you’ll be stunning” I was tiny at the time) and he had cheated before!
If Fish taught me anything it’s do not jump in both feet first with someone you hardly know, no matter what they are saying. It takes time to build up those kind of connections and a relationship that seems too easy that early on generally is, trust your gut it’s shouting at you for a reason! This was a couple of years ago and I do look back and laugh now (you kinda have to) but I have definitely learnt this lesson!
Lots of Love